Your Part in Others’ Reflections

Image by Camil Tulcan

Driving into work the other day, I heard an inspirational story on NPR about Colbert Williams. When Williams was 16, he was taken in by his former fifth grade math teacher. The story itself is a great example of compassion… a white 69 year old divorcee with no children becoming legal guardian of a 16 year old black former student whose mother was too poor to support him. [Read/listen to the story on NPR here]

What struck me was something that Williams, now grown with a son of his own, said about his father…

“What you see in me is a reflection of what you put in me.”

As I wrote about last week, I understand that my intentionality in fathering my sons has a direct impact in who they are and who they will be. I think what Williams said, however, transcends parenting. It is a truth that affects our relationship with everyone we come into contact with.

Dr. Henry Cloud talked about this in his book Integrity (a must-read book in my opinion)...

“When you move through life, through your company or organization, through your career, and through your relationships, your character is going to be a ‘force.’ The question is, ‘What kind of force is it going to be?’”

Here are some questions to ask yourself to gauge how well you are impacting the lives of those around you…

• As you encounter others, what impression are you leaving on their lives?
• Are they better off for having been around you?
• Are they more trusting?
• Do they feel more fulfilled as a person?
• Do they feel better about themselves?
• Did they learn from you?
• Do they feel lifted up/encouraged?
• ... or the opposite of these things?

Posted 03.10.2010

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