A Look Back at My Time With Josiah

Image by Arti Sandhu

The kids have been back in school for a good 4-5 weeks now. Josiah & I’s time together was supposed to be through the end of the summer. But a busy vacation/traveling/hosting guests schedule meant that school came and I still had several things I wanted to teach him before we took a break for the next several months.

So, as we’re winding things down, I thought it might be helpful to share a few things I learned in the process in case there are those of you wanting to do something similar. So, here goes:

• Make it experiential. This will take some creative thinking and planned forethought, but you want this time to be memorable. For me, I want my boys to look back at these key times together and remember things about them that will jog their memory on what we talked about. For Josiah & I we have tried out new restaurants together, couple ‘talk times’ with trips to destinations we both enjoy (like visiting Gamestop & trying out the latest games), heading to the lake for a ‘walking talk’ while skipping stones (and grabbing a pizza to take with us), etc.

• Be sure it is the right length. Your time together needs to be long enough to prove worthwhile (both in their minds and in what you want to teach them), but not too long that it can still hold their attention. I try to take no more than 2 pages of notes with me. I know that will help me keep the discussion moving while retaining their interest.

• Be consistent. We all have plenty of interruptions and things vying for our time. It can be easy to set aside your time with your kids if you don’t guard it. This is an important time and you want to give it priority in your schedule. Then, when the inevitable break comes (in our case it was a vacation or two), the ‘miss’ becomes the exception rather than the norm.

• Make sure your time is well thought out. Again, this is an important time to invest in your kids. You wouldn’t skimp on prep time if you had an important presentation or assignment - don’t ‘wing it’ with your kids. Commit to spending ample time throughout the week preparing what you want to teach them and your times together.

• Just do it. You’re never going to have it all together. The important thing isn’t how polished it is, nor how ‘together’ you come off in front of your kids. The important thing is that you take the time to spend quality, focused time where you’re chief aim is to invest in their lives. Don’t wait until you feel you are ready… by then it will likely be too late.

What about you? What have you found that works? What thoughts do you have about spending focused time with your kids?

Posted 09.09.2009

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