Confident Humility

For years I misunderstood humility. If you had held up a card labeled “Humble” and asked me to say the first thing that came to mind, it might very well have been something like, “Nun.” My view of what humility looked like was someone who was quiet, blended into the wallpaper, never ‘tooted’ their own horn, and was, at least a little bit, self-deprecating.

The problem? This definition is simply not true.

Dr. Henry Cloud helped me start to have a much healthier sense of what true humility looked like. He wrote in his book Integrity that…

“Humility is not self-deprecating, but real and honest. When someone is who he or she really is and does not act as if he or she is more than he is, that is not arrogance, but secure identity.”

This ‘confident humility’ is when you function out of the best of who you are, while being fully aware (and open with) who you are not.

What affect does having confident humility have?

1. It Causes You to Stretch Yourself
I don’t know how many times I have learned a new skill set primarily because there was an unrest in my soul. There are many times that I look at things that we pay others to do & think, “I could do that!” Now, I may not have the time to do it, and it may not be worth my time to learn/do it, but there are times when I have decided that the investment of my time, energy & resources is worth the effort. Who I am today, in large part, is because of what I have pushed myself to become.

2. It Helps Things Happen
There’s nothing more frustrating to me than indecisive meetings. I know that there are times when things need to be set on the table and discussed. If we are not careful, though, we can find ourselves walking out of more meetings than not with an unhealthy sense that little was accomplished.

One reason there is indecisiveness in meetings and teams is when no one in the group feels like they can take the lead and accomplish what needs to be accomplished (or at least see that it happens). Having confidence in your strengths & abilities allows you to step up, meet the challenge, and get/keep things moving.

3. It Makes You Much More Fulfilled in What You Do
It’s taken me a long time to figure out what my niche is, but the more I’ve discovered that place, the more fulfilled & impactful I have become. I often tell people that I’m more & more ‘in my sweet spot’ - meaning, I am operating out of my strengths & passions because I know what “I Can Do Better” than others. It allows me to serve others in a much deeper & richer way than if I was simply going through the motions.

Confident humility is not a one-sided coin. There are areas that you must safeguard against - dangers to avoid. Tomorrow we’ll take at a few of these.

Guest Post at GiANT Perspectives

Posted 03.23.2010

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