Intentional Fathering

Image by Giovanni Orlando

February marked the beginning of a new journey with my eldest son, Josiah. He turned 12 and we set into motion a plan that I had been envisioning for more than a year.

The summer I turned 35 (2008) I made a bucket list of things I wanted to accomplish by the time I turned 40. One of the five things on this list was to “have a written plan for my boys.” I started working toward that end last summer when I met with Josiah on a weekly basis. The plan was to do the same in between his 12th & 13th birthdays.

Before I go any further I have one disclaimer: I have no clue what I’m doing. Most of what lies ahead at this point has more to do with desire than details. The important thing is that I didn’t wait until I had it all figured out to begin. The important thing is the start.

We’ll see what shape our weekly meetings take as we move through the year. Right now the plan is to focus on three key areas of growth for him:

1. Spiritual Growth - I’ve committed to determining and teaching him 12 core life values. These are 12 things answer the question, “If I could lay a spiritual foundation for my kids, what are the 12 things I’d want to make sure they knew.” We’ll be focusing on one each month.

2. Physical Growth - I want to lay a foundation of exercise for my kids that will (hopefully) last as they get older. Josiah is already getting some of this through his health/PE class in middle school. I want to reinforce it through what we do at home. We’ll measure (# of push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups, how far he can stretch, & eventually weights), commit to regular exercise at least 3 days a week, and then check-in on a monthly basis to see how he’s doing.

3. Skill Development - Because Josiah is a smart kid, he really isn’t stretched too much with school right now. I want him to learn how to challenge himself & to teach himself. I want him to think out of the box about things he wants to learn and pursue those. One of these will be web development, but skill development could be anything he’s interested in. I want to set-up a structure to regularly pour new things into him and/or to help resource him to learn things he wants to learn.

He signed a “Growth Covenant” that is now hanging in his room that basically says that I will work hard for him & that he will work hard for me. In the end the reward will be a father-son trip the summer after his 13th birthday to anywhere he wants to go.

Let the journey begin!

Posted 03.05.2010

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